I like me when I am with you.

You hold me
Like the womb that bore me
You whisper 'my baby'
Just like the woman who gave
me life. You are simple
Like I should be.
The years have claimed
The skin around your
Red rimmed blue eyes.
In a moment of youthful
Arrogance I cherish how
Beautiful I feel with you.
I do not love you yet
The way you should be loved.
But there is beauty in
Stealing into your room
Early in the morning
And being encased in
Those hard working hands
I feel relief and peace
Surging through the veins
Of my nomadic existence
Others have taken but you
Give. More that I have ever
been given. If this is not
Love, I don't want to know
What love is. And when you are
Inside me, I like the silence
Of the day breaking, like the
Music that you bear in my heart.

Strength 2

A quivering little shell like being
Sometimes the centre of my existence
It frightens them.
The warmth, the smells, the juices.
Sometimes with a hurtful persistence
It frightens me too.
Why do you reveal your mysteries to
Strange fingers and vicious mouths?

Healing

As I wash away the impure
My vision is sparkling
All that perfection,
The inimitable beauty
It was in my eyes
Not in you.
Without my dark passion
You are nothing but
Everyday's slave.

I begin where we end

The taste, like it were the first time.
Beady eyes far away and unobservant
The hunger, the terrible need
Appeased, the giggling, the peace,
The sheer joy of being unshackled
My wings they flutter, they flit
They fly, higher than ever
Soaring beyond the need for
Human companionship, freedom
Makes me a woman, a mad being.
An unlikely candidate for joy
And yet I live happily ever after.

Other

I struggle to meet his perfection
Midway.
I try to please, I abuse and I exhaust
Myself.
Step on my wings, trample them down
Massacre.
My love is never for his loveliness a-
Match.
All that is left is a desire, a distant
Memory.
Of another pair of hands, softer, forgiving
Merciful.
Betwixt my solitude and my loneliness with him
Melancholy.
Othered by him, loved by him,I only belong to
Me.

Life.

I have a mad desire
The kind that rests
Not so gently on the chest
Asking, pushing, seeking.
I would like nothing better
Than to exist in non existence
To drive the demons away
And the angels too.
I don't want to hear
Or see, or touch
Anymore. I am at peace
With the thought of home
In this black hole
Where the soul frees itself
From the strangle hold of eternity
I don't want to be immortal,
Mortal or anything in between.
Just an end that begins,
Just no thoughts to torment.
No hopes to enslave.
Just nothingness
No, not even that.
Something beyond absence.
Like a void, a vaccum, a space
Or even the nadir of it.
I have a mad desire for
Death.

Onion

Take my clothes off,
Layer by layer.
Cut into my skin if you
Dare.
Test my acidic depths
If you please.
Yes I will make you
Cry.
When my heart reveals
Its secrets to you,
You will stink,
You will excrete me
Through your pores.
And raw, never a
Deeper flavour will
Assail your tongue
Your eyes, your skin
Your core.
And yet you forget
That I offer you
My own distruction,
Layer by layer,
Skin,
Flesh,
Love.